Those Sweet Afternoons
by Seventh Sage
Summary: As companions travel together, their hearts grow closer and closer to each other. But what secrets are Kratos hiding? Lloyd wants to find out... but would he be ready for them? KratosLloyd, Spoilers in alternating chapters!
1. I'll Prove My Worth

Lookies, lookies! It's Kratos/Lloyd! XD

Alright, first things first. I _know_ I'm probably going to get a lot of negative comments based on my choice of pairing… And I just want to say right off the bat that I _have_ finished the game and I _do_ know what Kratos and Lloyd are. So please… refrain from telling me again and again.

Anyway…

Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia or any of the characters. (Meh, too tired to be making up creative disclaimers.)

Warning: The… even-numbered chapters have spoilers. ::sweatdrop:: Ood-numbered chapters are Lloyd's POV, even numbered chapters are Kratos's POV. So as long as you're at the Triet Ruins area, waaaaay in the beginning of the game, you're safe. And, um, there's shounen-ai, with Kratos/Lloyd. Most people probably don't like this pairing, but… ::shrugs::

Soooooo, on to the fic!

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Chapter One – I'll Prove My Worth!

I first met you at the Martel Temple in Iselia. You came as a saving knight, with your shining armor over your mantle of nobility, brandishing your flaming sword that sliced through enemy ranks like a knife through butter.

…What a joke.

You were no knight, but an arrogant, self-proclaimed hero. We needed no cavalier, charging to our rescue. We needed no savior, entwined in sword and sorcery. We were _fine_. Really. We did _not_ need your help. Colette and Genis and me.. We would have been fine on our own. We would, we would!

…And if I said that enough times, perhaps I would believe it.

What? Why are you looking at me? Are you gloating inside? Are you mocking me silently, laughing at my weakness, at how you had to save me again? Mark my words, Kratos, I'll defeat you someday. There will be a time when you will ask _me_ to save you instead. But not just yet. I can bide my time.

"It looks like you're working hard."

I looked up, surprised. There was no malice in your voice, no hint of scorn. Why? Wasn't it you who told me before, back in Iselia, that I would only get in your way? Have you reconsidered? Have you reassessed my strength? But that is not our topic of discussion.

I softened my voice, bit back would-be-harsh words. "Yeah… I guess…"

"Raine should be pleased."

I glanced up from my work on the Professor's Key Crest to peer at you, your face glowing softly in the flickering flames of my candles. Your expression was faintly pleasant, though no smile touched your lips. Why don't you smile? But… I suppose, like this, you were already displaying contentment. It would not be like you to smile too broadly.

I noticed now that I have not yet responded to you. You stared at me questioningly, your eyes seeming to glow a deep garnet in the scarlet flames. I laughed somewhat nervously. "Eh-heh… Thanks… I guess it's nowhere near as good as one that Dad could make, but it'll work for the Professor's Exsphere."

You nodded, your eyes at a lazy half-mast, their light of fierce alertness betraying their seeming calm. What secrets are you hiding, Kratos? A lone mercenary with an Exsphere… Who _are_ you? You did not answer my unspoken questions, as you lay back in your bed.

I returned to my work, trying to put you out of my mind, knowing that it was impossible. Why did I have to room with you, of all people? You, Mr. I-am-so-powerful; you, Mr. I-need-no-one-else. You irritate me… You intrigue me.

In any case, I could, for the moment, escape you as I deliver the Professor's fixed Key Crest. Your presence still permeated the room, still followed me; annoying, alien, captivating.

I climbed up the stairs, the completed Key Crest in my hands, and knocked on the Professor's door. Softly, she called for me to enter. Quietly shutting the heavy wooden door, I noticed that Genis is asleep. Poor little guy. It felt as if it was my fault, dragging him here. He did nothing wrong. He didn't deserve these harsh living conditions, these constant monster attacks… Though I don't doubt that he'll make it through. He's my best friend, after all. I trust in his abilities… and my own will to protect him should something threaten his safety.

"Professor Sage," I murmured softly, holding out her Key Crest. "I finished it."

A soft gasp announced her delight, bringing a smile to my lips. To see my friends happy… That is all I really wanted.

"Thank you, Lloyd."

I offered a grin, knowing I should not linger long. Though she kept a calm façade, I could tell that she was excited to study her new Exsphere, now that it was safe for her to do so. I tilted my head, watching Genis a moment more. In his slumber, he smiled, murmuring words almost too soft to hear.

"Best friends… forever… Lloyd…"

A smile touched my lips, as I answered back, knowing he could not hear. "Yes, Genis. Best friends forever."

When I pushed open the heavy wooden door, the Professor was already pouring her attention upon the new Exsphere, crooning to it as if it were an infant. I chuckled. That was the Professor, all right.

Something felt different as soon as I stepped out. Something was there…

…Something I had started to associate with your presence, identify as your aura.

As I expected, you were there, heading outside. Where are you going, so mysteriously, in the night? My curiosity would not still, and I followed you, hoping that you would not notice. Perhaps you are not as intimidating as you were during our first meting, but you still hold power I dare not even dream of yet. Who can tell how you might be if you become angry…?

Words greeted me when I stepped out the inn's door, and it took a moment to realize they were not meant for me. You were there, your back to me, talking to… Noishe? This scene confuses me. Noishe _hates_ strangers. For him to respond thus to you…

_Who are you, Kratos?_

And deep in my mind, somewhere, I wonder if I really want to know the answer…

I took a step closer, intending to talk to you. "Hey…"

Before I got more than a word out, you spun, sword pointed at my throat. You… did that… in that split second… I can never compare, can I…?

"Oh…" I couldn't tell if you were upset or disappointed; you certainly didn't seem happy to see me there. And yet, you put your sword away, turning towards me with a visage cleared of all the annoyance of days past. "It's you, Lloyd."

I nodded, unsure of what to say, letting out whatever came first to my mind. "So, do you like animals?"

"Hmmm?" You seemed almost surprised that I would ask such a thing. "No, not really. Why?"

I frowned. Now that was strange. "Well, you seem to be getting along really well with Noishe, and he usually doesn't like strangers."

"Doesn't like" was an understatement. And yet, he greeted you like an old friend.

You shrugged, placing the matters behind you. I did not pry. We all have our share of secrets, I'm sure, perhaps some more than others.

For a long time, we stood there in silence, my eyes straying to the clear sky above us, dark velvet sprinkled with winking stars. I like the stars, always did. They're beautiful, and they remind me of… my _real_ Dad…

I was the first to break the silence, voicing a question I had long wondered. "Do you remember how, in Iselia, you said I was just going to be a burden if I came along?"

Your nod was barely perceptible.

I continued, coming to my real question. "Am I still a burden?"

You appeared perfectly calm and at ease, as if you expected such out of me. Did you? Or does your mask of tranquility never slip?

If you had known the answer already, you certainly took a while to give it. "…No. You did admirably in the battle against Botta. With training, you would become even better."

I cannot say that I was not shocked. You… _complimented_ me!

Your next words brought me back to Sylvarant. "However, your technique is unrefined right now. You need more practice and a better teacher."

"You…!" I glared, to no avail. You merely fixed those impassive ruby eyes upon me, and I could do nothing. You always seem to have this… type of _effect_ on me…

"Do not get angry, Lloyd."

Hmph. Easy for _you_ to say, Mr. Calm.

"Anger will only weaken you. Focus on what you need to improve, and remove your weaknesses. Only then will you become a true fighter."

It made sense. Everything you say makes sense, and yet… I could not help but feel reproachful. After all, you're only a few years older than me, aren't you? How could you act so self-righteous, so… _sure_… of everything? How could you tell _me_ what to do?

"Come." You did not even give me a chance to answer. "We should get some sleep. You have a long journey ahead of you. I would rather you not be so tired. Tomorrow… we head for the Triet Ruins and the Fire Temple."

Already on my way back to our room, I froze in my tracks at your comment. Your voice held… _concern_. Why? Why would you care how much sleep I got? Why would you care if I were to get tired? And yet, you said it so naturally, as if… it was just something to take in stride…

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts, though the confusion could not so easily be shaken away. You befuddle me with every passing word, every new gesture. Without meaning to, without knowing it, I realize that I am twirled around your little finger…

Do I mind?

…I seriously can't answer.

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To Be Continued…

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And once again, I just want to remind everyone that I _do_, in fact, know what Kratos and Lloyd are, and don't need to be told about it. I'm sorry if that sounds rude; it was not meant to be. But… yes… please, I don't need to hear "Did you know that Kratos and Lloyd are (not put in for readers' benefits)?" a few million times. . 


	2. Late Rising

…Wow… That's… amazing. Arigatou gozaimasu minna-san! I'm very thankful and grateful for all your support. ::smiles:: I only expected at most 5-10 reviews, most of which would be flames. ::sweatdrop:: So this is… absolutely amazing! 25 reviews so far, and only _one_ of them a flame.

To all you nice reviewers, I am extremely grateful. I'll try my best not to disappoint. ::grins::

Now, as for the flamer… Well, I'm certainly _very_ glad you had the decency to use proper spelling and grammar and signed it instead of hiding behind a cowardly anonymity. However, it irked me greatly that your narrow-minded little comment applied to my reviewers instead of just the fic and me. The reviews are supposed to be criticism about a _story_, not about its readers. If you have a problem with the pairing, take it up with _me_ and we can have a "nice", "friendly" debate. Either that, or don't read it, which I'm pretty sure was what happened anyway. Oh yes, and my Evil Overlord said your review/flame was "too short" and "uncreative". XD

Now that _that's_ over with… As to the rest of you, thank you muchly, my darlings. Thanks to all of you, I think I _will_ work on this fic a bit after all. I'm very glad you guys all liked it, and that even those of you who do not support this pairing are reading it and accepting my ideas on it. Some of you said I was "brave". As much as I'd like to go along with that, I'd like to tell you all that I was merely tempting fate (and flamers). XD Okay, maybe not. But one of the reasons really _was_ because I was curious about people's reactions.

Also, I'm wondering if anyone noticed where the fic title's from. I meant to explain it last chapter, but I forgot. ::sweatdrop:: It's actually a part of a line from the song "Someday Out of the Blue" (sang by Elton John, from "The Road to El Dorado"). "Not so long ago/ Seems like eternity/ Those sweet afternoons/ Still capture me." If you know the song and played past the Tower of Salvation, you'd know why I picked that…

And did anyone else notice that I used present and past tense interchangeably in the last chapter? (And this one, and all of them, in fact?) Rest assured, it's intentional. Perhaps the usage isn't as well as I would have liked, but… Yes. Actions are generally in past tense, while some of the _thought_ have been put in present tense. (Did anyone even notice? ::sweatdrop::)

Anyway…

Comments to the reviews!

**Somebody** – Thank you! ::smiles::

**Of Fate and Destiny** – Yeah. I suspected they might have been that from the very beginning. (How often do you see people with similar hair colours in anime? XD) Buuut, yup, I _still_ think they should be together.

**Raiknii** – Eh-heh, I tend to be somewhat sarcastic when writing anything but pure angst. Mmmm, maybe I'm just dumb, but what does to an O mean?

**Minoa **– Aww, thanks. I'll try to write faster… Really, I will…

**Sarah aka Celebi** – ::grins: I think Kratos is just gonna get really, really confuzzled… ::evil smile::

**Nico****-Chan** – Heh… You seem happy. ::grins::

**Rakka**** Ravi** – Oooh, oops. I can't believe I didn't catch that. O.O Thank you!

**Willow-189** – Awww, I'm very glad to see people who prefer other pairings actually reading this. I'll do my best to make it seem believable. ::salutes::

**Mihalle**** Miyama** – And I thought I was the only one who liked it too. ::smiles::

**Eeveelover** – Yepyep, will update… ::grins::

**R Amethyst** – Heh, no worries, I've not left my FE fics behind. ::pats the FE fics:: I'm working on the next chappy of Prince in Distress. ::nods:: Sheena/Raine? That's rather interesting. ::grins:: Especially with the way they kept bickering in the beginning… XD

**Zaeger** – Heehee, thanks. ::smiles:: I actually tend to stay away from these kinds of pairings too, but… couldn't resist for this one. ::slight blush::

**tsuki-san16** – Mmm, I actually _kind_ of expected them to be… _that_… from the beginning, except the ages weren't right. But they're in love anyway, ne? ::grins::

**Specter**** Von Baren** – Hn, I guess I've nothing more to put that what I've already said at the beginning. Once again, leave the _other_ people alone. If you've a problem with me, take it up with _me_.

**destiny** – Awww, thanks.

**Cookie Pixie** – Then, um, you shouldn't read this chapter, nope-nope. Not until you know why people might be mad at me.

**Xeora** – Next chappy, coming right now. ::grins::

**I Forget** – ::laughs:: Heehee, love your shoulder things. XD

**Cheli** – Oh dear, I told you already?

**Jade-Dragon-dod** – Thankies. Yup, will update. I love this pairing…

**ryder77** – Yup, good tip. Mmm, thanks. I'll try my best to work on that connection.

**Lady Tetsu-Maru** – Heh, cute? Glad you thought so. ::grins::

**Aziza**** Kanoa** – I know. I haven't seen any outright Kratos/Lloyd on , and only one that was _kind_ of K/L… To tell the truth, the time when he left the group was what inspired this story in the first place. (Yeah, shows how fast I write, if I got the idea _then_ and finished the story _now_, _after_ beating the game. ::sweatdrop::) Am I going to separate them in the end? I honestly don't know. On the one hand, I want to, 'cause that'll play on their emotions ever-so-much. On the other hand, that's just _too_ sad…

**Silver** – Heh heh heh… Yup.

**AkiraNyaag** – Heehee, thank you!

…And even the rest of this A/N will have spoilers, so I think I'll put the disclaimer and warning here… If you reviewed and would like to see the answer to your review, but don't want to read this chapter because of the **MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS**, the answers are at the very end, and the reviewers' names will be bolded, so you could just read the comment.

**Disclaimer**: Tales of Symphonia doesn't belong to me. Big surprise there. ::sweatdrop::

**Warning**: **Much, much spoilers**! The even-numbered chapters will be in Kratos's POV, and will contain anything and everything that Kratos knows. I would suggest not reading it until you almost finished the game, if not done already. There will also be shounen-ai, of course, of the Kratos/Lloyd nature. That's what the story's about. ::nods::

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Okay, past the spoiler warning now. I would really not suggest reading past this point. This game just has too good a storyline. **If you read anything after this sentence, it's not my fault if the game gets spoiled.**

Alrighty… I have one question I wanted to ask, and if anyone has some free time and would like to think about and discuss it, please e-mail me (rachelani(at)hotmail(dot)com). Now, the question is… You know the scene in Flanoir with Kratos? You know how Kratos said Anna was a Cruxis Crystal experiment like Presea? Well, my question is, how come Anna kept her personality instead of going emotionless like Presea? For a while, I thought it was because she had a Key Crest, but, to quote Kratos, "…lacking a Key Crest, the mana in her body went out of control and she turned into a monster." So if she didn't have one, how did she…?

And, ah, if anyone wants to think about _this_… Lloyd's last name… Whose _is_ it? Anna's? Dirk's? Something that Kratos made up…?

Yes, now, on to the fic!

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Late Rising

When I woke in the early morning, you were still asleep, your crimson-clad form sprawled unceremonially on your bed, your whole form seeming almost comical. I took a moment to gaze at you, feeling the slight twinges of inexplicable emotion pressing against the back of my mind. You… your presence will make things ever-so-much more difficult. …Ever-so-much more painful…

Anna's son.

_My_ son.

When I had thought that you had died, I gave up on the world. What… What should I do now?

"Achoo!" In your sleep, you sneezed and shivered, causing me to shake my head. Your blanket had nearly fallen to the floor; what remained on the bed lay _underneath_ your prone form. I covered you, my dear, foolish child. Why… Why did you have to come? I tried my best to keep you at Iselia; I mocked you, I discouraged you, and yet, you still…! But I should have expected this stubbornness from you, this absolute _refusal_ to give up. It was _this_ quality that shone the brightest in Anna, _this_ quality that attracted me the most…

I shook my head, berating myself. Fool. Don't think about Anna. Don't think about the Lloyd of the past. They are dead; must remain dead in my memories. I work for Lord Yggdrasill, for the hero Mithos, who saved the world. I must not feel anything but indifference for these children, for even Lloyd. To finally obtain a whole and peaceful world, some sacrifices must be made… even a long-lost son… Even my final and only legacy…

But why… why did you have to grow to be such a fine youth? Anyone would be proud to have you as a son. I _am_ proud, as I am sure Dirk is. Perhaps I should not be. I had no part in your upbringing. Yet, seeing you here, so close, I could almost imagine that we are still a family, that you had never "died" for me. Would you have been the same? Would you, now, have been fighting by my side?

If I had found you then, Lloyd, you would not need to die now. If you were one of us, you needed not be sacrificed…

There were no tears in my eyes. I doubt there would _ever_ be tears. Oh, not because of what I am. I can still cry, a privilege that will soon be denied Sylvarant's precious Chosen. But I… I _cannot_ allow such weakness. Anna's death – and yours, or so I had believed – was the last time I had shed any tears. It _will_ be the final time.

It will.

I stood, stretched. I must be away from you. I can allow no emotional ties. You had died some fourteen years ago. I had given up on you then. I must… not feel anything.

I sighed, stepping out into the pre-morning light. There was an _empty_ feeling following me. But it should not matter… should it? I am no stranger to loneliness, and I must believe… that my son rests in death.

Though the sun had just begun to rise, the day was still young and all of our "companions" yet slept. Perhaps that was just as well. You must be exhausted, as well as your young friend Genis, after yesterday's escapade from Botta's Renegades. And you… you had even stayed up for a good part of the night making the Half-Elven woman's Key Crest. The loyalty and dedication you show your friends must be admired, and yet, you thoughtlessly drained your strength, slowing our progress and possibly endangering yourself and others in battle. Perhaps I should mention that to you, but that is neither here nor now.

Right now, I believe I should prepare breakfast.

Allow me to explain, for I am sure you children will think that I am showing kindness. That would be just as well; the more trust you give me, the more you would listen to me. The Chosen _must_ obey my commands.

However, convenience aside… I am cooking for my own interests. When you two boys awaken it would be well into the morning, close to noon. That would be too late to start _breakfast_. The Chosen seems only to be able to use _fruits_, and the Professor…

I shudder to even think about what she fed us. Even _Mithos_ would cringe.

Thus it was that when the two women awoke, they found a ready and steaming breakfast. Yes, trust was, indeed, starting to go up. Good. I would need all of you – especially the Chosen – to trust me impeccably if I wish to succeed in my mission.

"Oh, wow!"

The Half-Elven woman, still half asleep, twitched as the young Chosen gave this cheerful exclamation. "You actually cooked for us, Kratos!"

Seeing her bright smile, I felt a wave of something akin to pity. Perhaps Sylvarant regarded her as no more than a nameless saviour, but her friends would miss her dearly. _You_ would miss her dearly.

And yet, what was to say that even _you_ would live through this?

After breakfast and a supply trip, we returned to the inn… to find you still asleep. You must have been tired yesterday, fighting the Renegades by yourself. You did well… Yet, I cannot allow myself to be proud. Proud of a son I did not raise… Proud of a son I must so soon abandon again… I wonder, Lloyd, _could_ I ever call you "son"? _Must_ I?

As the Half-Elf left to check on her brother and prepare our supplies, the Chosen with her, I let myself back into our room. At the sight of your prone figure, once again bereft of all coverings except your traveling clothes, I sighed in exasperation. True, the day was not so cold now, but you should still be careful. Sickness would not do.

I pulled out your blanket from underneath your sleeping body and placed it where it belonged – on top of you – before taking a seat on my won bed and writing in a small notebook.

A detail of our journey, it was. An aid so that I could correctly report this to Mithos. To _Lord Yggdrasill_.

It was quite a while later before you woke, when the sun was nearing its zenith. After rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you searched around the room, blinking. When those soft, brown eyes found me, you gave your dopey trademark smile and announced, "Good morning, Kratos!"

I could not help but laugh, though bitterly. Morning indeed. "Good _afternoon_, Lloyd."

Your eyes widened in surprise as you scrambled out of bed, straightening your rumpled clothes and looking for a window – which this room did not have – to check the hour of the day. "Is it really the afternoon? Did I oversleep? Am I late?"

Realizing that I could neither nod nor shake my head at your series of questions, I settled for crossing my arms instead, as you hurried about the room frantically. "No. Not really. It is, however, almost noon."

A grin spread across your face, then, aimed to make you look tough, but managing to do nothing but accentuate your naivety, your over-trustfulness. So familiar, it was. So disturbingly painful.

Anna's smile.

"Aha!" Your childishly smug declaration broke me out of my daze, my thoughts of the past. You looked positively delighted in your triumph. "So it _is_ still morning!"

"Yes," I responded, perhaps a bit more harshly than I needed to. "But that does not excuse the facts that you _have_, indeed, overslept, and that you _are_, indeed, _very_ late."

Why am I being so rough on you, I wonder? I do not know, cannot really tell. I wanted to believe the sensible voice in my head, the one that told me that I did so to distance myself from you. I would _not_ allow myself to believe the other one, the one that said that it was all to protect you… to force you to grow strong…

Perhaps strong enough to defeat _me_.

"I…" You looked embarrassed, almost upset, and I regret my words, even if only a little. "I'm sorry, Kratos.

Fuelled by anger at myself, I continued. "And what good does an apology do?" Such a calm, cold voice I used to speak to you. "Our Journey of World Regeneration has been set back; the Chosen may have to wait another day before breaking the next seal. The Desians might be attacking yet another town. All this, because you lingered too long in sleep."

Oh, what lies I sprouted!

"You're right…" Your face filled with sorrow and shame; I could not allow myself to feel pity. "I won't let it happen again. I won't let there be another Iselia incident."

Lies, I may have given you, but how they fed your gentle pathos! How they woke your ideals, so much like hers…

I nodded, standing up, breaking my own thoughts. "Are you ready?" I knew already that you were. "Let us go."

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::bows:: And that is the second chapter. …Even if the A/N's bigger than the actual story… ::sweatdrop:: I'm actually more used to _much_ longer chapters (ie, at least 10 pages), but I want to switch between Lloyd and Kratos frequently…

…And because I've been writing less than normal lately, and I don't want to take months (::coughyearscough::) to update again.


	3. Guardian

Wow… That's… a lot of reviews. And look, I'm still alive! And the flamers haven't eaten me, no worries. I've just been slightly busy with something… (www (dot)nanowrimo(dot)org) That thing. :nods: And yes, I made it. 50,000 words:grins: Anyway, yesh, now I can go back to fanficcy-writing… Aren't you all so glad? (Or horrified, whichever it is. XD)

…Except it's February now, isn't it? I've been busy. Yup. But now I'm (hopefully) back, and guess what? I have a Kratos/Lloyd website. (heart heart) I'm assuming that if you're actually reading this, you're a K/L fan, so here's the site: m(dot)1asphost(dot)com(slash)wingsunfurled And yes, I do occasionally update the comics.

And lookies reviews, I got _two_ flames this time. One flame for chappy one, two flames for chappy two… Do you think there's a trend? XD And yes, one of the flames particularly amused me. She (I _think_ it's a she, anyway) said that our dear Kratos and Lloyd are doing "dirty things". Now, do you think talking's dirty? O.o And she called all of us "horny freaks". I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm willing to take that as a compliment. :smirks:

And all I can say to flamers is, at least read the story before you comment on it:sweatdrop: Otherwise, you just sound stupid, as our current flamers demonstrated.

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Now, review responses… And I'm not even gonna bother with the flamers, 'cause I'm tired and sick and meh.

**Darkened Skye** – Heh heh, I have a history of taking forever to update. XD And I think this one gets updated more often than any others, so that's good… :giggles:

**Nico****-Chan** – :glomps back: I tend to try to focus on characterization as much as I could. Because I'm a fussy and picky little girl. XD

**tsuki-san16** – Awww, thankies. Hee, answering an answer.

**I'm not sick!...no...really-** – I like this pairing, really.

**Lady Testu-Maru** – Hee, thankies. I'll try to make Kratos less whiny soon. I think he's just confuzzled right now, that's why. :nods:

**SDS-Yukichan** – Lookies, I updated:smile:

**Raiknii** – Heehee, and I like the thing about the manor of denial. XD

**Willow-189** – Yay, thank you. I don't particularly like incest either, believe me, but I just happen to like this particular pairing.

**AkiraNyaag** – Thankies!

**destiny** – Thanks. I appreciate it. :smiles:

**Cathowl** – Thank you! And here's the next chapter.

**Eike** – Heh, sorry about Lloyd using big words. I was in a somewhat big-word mode when I was writing it. :sweatdrop: And my excuse is that his thoughts are abstract, so when they're put into words, whatever word fits could be used. Something like that. Meh, I'm not very good at explaining myself… .

**SunkissSBM** – Yesh, I love this pairing too. Awww, don't hunt me down. If I'm dead, then I can't write, ne:innocent look:

**ryder77** – Mmm, I actually wasn't too aware of sexual hints in the first chapter. :sweatdrop: Sorry, I'm dense. Eh-heh… But, hey, Lloyd really _was_ obsessed with Kratos from the very beginning, even in the game. XD

**Rakka**** Ravi** – Aww, thanks. About the Exsphere thing, though… They transform when the Exsphere is taken _off_ without a Key Crest, wasn't it…?

**Zakari** – Yay, thanks.

**Xeora** – I'm sorry about how short it is. I'm usually accustomed to much longer chapters (such as what I have for On That Starry Night, but I wanted to change viewpoints more often here.)

**Random Pass-by-er** – Ah, if you don't know what they are, it's probably better I don't tell you. But I'm glad you like this.

**fallenharbinger** – Thankies!

**XKuroneko-TenshiX** – Thanks… I think? Hmmm, I'll give you a quote too, from my friend: "Incest is fine as long as they don't make babies."

**xHWRobynx** – Thanks.

**The Evil Maid** – Aww, thank you. I'm flattered.

**speshuled** – Thank you.

**venustenshi** – And here is more, yup.

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Disclaimer: I don't own TOS, etc, etc.

Warning: Kratos/Lloyd pairing, but you should know that already. Not much spoilers in this one if you've gotten past the Triet Ruins already…

And, um, just once again reminding you guys that events and dialogues are not _exactly_ as they are in the game. (Firstly, because I'm too lazy to find/make a game transcript; secondly, because there would be no point in writing a fic if I copied the dialogue from a script, ne? Oh, and thirdly, script-form dialogue and story-form dialogue are different, and _should_ be different anyway – different things need to be shown in different ways.)

Now, on to the fic, ne?

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Guardian 

It was hot in the desert.

I realized that a few days ago, when Genis and I entered it for the first time, but I didn't have anyone to complain to, then. Now, I did, and a lot of people.

"It's too hot," I whined, pouting and shifting my bag onto my other shoulder.

Genis rolled his eyes. "Lloyd, we all _know _it's hot."

"But I'm wearing red!" I protested. Red was like fire, so that should make it feel even more hot, right? See? I have a reason to complain. After all, _Genis_ was wearing _blue_, so that was like water, so that should make it cooler. I nodded in my head.

Genis could only roll his eyes again. What did I say _now_? "Lloyd, colour has nothing to do with it!"

I blinked. "It doesn't?"

"Actually…" It was you who spoke up. "…Colour _does _have something to do with it."

"Aha!" I stuck out my tongue at Genis, ready to retaliate. After all, if _you _said so…

"…But," you continued, "not the colours themselves, mainly their darkness – or rather, how close they are to black. I admit, red _is _a rather dark colour, but not so much as certain others may be."

Black. You were wearing black. That was your way of telling me not to complain since you weren't, wasn't it? That was so not fair. Just because _I_ wasn't arrogant and have that oh-so-great attitude…

But I said I wouldn't let you defeat me again. And I won't, not even in something as simple as this.

It seemed like forever before we managed to reach the Triet Ruins. Do you _really _think there's a seal in here, and this isn't just some plot the Professor hatched up to get us to go to a ruin? How would you even know where the seals are? It's not like if _you're _an angel or anything. (1)

"Be careful. We don't know what might be around."

I turned and looked at you incredulously. We're not a bunch of children! …Well, we _are_, but we're not as weak as you might think. We can hold our own.

And besides, I didn't see any monsters around. Why did you act so tense? There seemed to be nothing here, just a weird stone structure coming out of the ground. Are you _sure_ this is the seal? I mean, it looked to me more like… a giant rock.

I spoke too soon.

It was not a moment before the monsters came. They weren't particularly powerful, kinda the same as the ones in the desert, really, but they were still a bother. And, of course, of all of us who could have gotten hurt, it had to be me. Not that I'm complaining, exactly. Colette and Genis and the Professor… they were all so fragile, so it was good that they were all right. And you…

I'm glad you weren't hurt.

But then, you weren't the type to _get_ hurt, were you? No, you were careful, and strong, and… and so much better than me…

Why? It's not fair.

"Are you hurt?"

I looked up, surprised. You? Why were _you_ here, with your concern? But of course. The Professor was much too busy staring at the ruins, and my minor injury was difficult to see anyway to begin with, especially against my red shirt. It wasn't very deep or dangerous, but it hurt.

…But there was no way I was going to admit that to _you_, "Mr. Perfect".

"No, I'm fine." I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out and instead turned away, pouting. Maybe I was too old to pout too, but… oh, who was going to say?

"Hn. If you say so" You raised an eyebrow. I had a feeling you didn't really believe me. Was I really that easy to read?

"I am!" I insisted. I knew you could heal, but I was _not_ about to admit that I wanted to _be_ healed. Not going to admit that this is actually uncomfortable. Not going to admit…

"First Aid," you murmured, placing a hand over my side. A small, green glow surrounded the gash there, and it closed almost miraculously. It certainly didn't hurt anymore.

"H-how…" My eyes widened as I realized that you, standing a bit away from me before, were right behind me. "Wh-when did you get over here!"

There was something faintly amused in your voice. "When you were daydreaming, perhaps?"

I felt my cheeks colour. "I-I wasn't daydreaming! I was _thinking_!"

"Of course." Again, that ghost of that mocking tone.

"I… I was!" I insisted. I didn't know why I had to prove myself, to you more than any other, even. I didn't know why I had to… seek to reach your level, to… become like you.

"Of course," you said once again. Same tone, same lack of commitment, of belief.

We gathered around the ruins now, joining Genis, Colette, and the Professor. It did not take long for Colette to open the ruins – by the Professor's suggestion, she put her hand on something called an "Oracle Stone" and the door opened itself.

I'm sure the Professor would have wanted to study the mecha—mecha-something of it, but you called us over. (2)

"The enemies inside will be more dangerous," you informed us. "Also, there will likely be a guardian at the seal. It would not be so easy to meet the Oracle as the first time, at the Temple of Martel."

I raised an eyebrow in challenge. "How would _you_ know?"

Yes, how did you know and what mystery are you hiding? I wonder if I would ever find out.

Your dark eyes, calm and steady, met mine without even a hint of a flinch. "It is merely an educated guess. Would you not agree that it would be logical for the Chosen's trials to become more difficult as she progresses?"

"Well, yes, but…"

"Lloyd, just give it up," Genis interrupted. "You know Kratos's right."

I sulked. He was supposed to be on _my_ side! "Sh-shut up, Genis."

You merely watched during this exchange, that amusement in your eyes. Finally, you called attention to yourself again. "Does any of you know techs to properly defend yourself?"

"…Techs?" I tilted my head, curious. "There're techs?"

"Yes." Though you spoke patiently, you arched your eyebrows in a way that seemed like you were trying to explain to a child. "Techs such as Guardian, which, you may or may not recall, I used in our battle moments ago."

I tried to think back. How was I supposed to remember something I've never seen before? But then again, I've seen all your other techs, so it must be…

"That weird, green, round glowy-thing?"

You nodded, though your brow raised again at my word choice. "Yes, the green, spherical release of energy."

I made a face. Fiiiiine, use big words I can't understand. But that couldn't possibly have been the only thing you wanted to tell us.

In a moment, I found out why you _really _asked. "Since it seems none of you know anything about it, I suppose I shall have to teach you."

"Who wants _you_ to teach?" I asked, feeling unusually sour. Dammit, _I_ was supposed to be the one who protected all of them, not _you_! They were _my_ friends, not _yours_! You were only a hired mercenary. You were only… But you were so strong, knew so much…

How could I ever compare?

Did I really _want_ to compare?

…What was I saying? Of course I did. And I will, someday! I'll become stronger than you, and defeat you, and…

And what if those were just foolish dreams…?

"Lloyd." Your voice broke through my daydrea—thoughts. I do _not_ daydream.

"What?" I ask automatically.

"Learn this tech." Your eyes caught mine, eyes that brooked no arguments. "That is, if you wish to have even a chance of surviving."

"Fine, fine!" Really, why must you always know everything? Why must you always be so high and mighty?

I watched you; the tech itself was not so difficult to perform, but it was definitely not something I would think of doing. And not something I would remember to use either, by the looks of things.

"Guardian," you called it, and Colette, Genis, and the Professor seemed to have devised their own versions of it, more suitable to magic. What did it guard? _I _didn't need guarding!

"It takes up a lot of a person's mana to use," you cautioned us. "Use it wisely."

"Lloyd doesn't know the meaning of 'wisely'," Genis piped up.

I glared. "Sh-shut up, Genis!"

You shook your head in amusement, as you always did, as if we were small children. So we were younger than us. So what? You weren't _that_ much older! (3) Finally, perhaps deciding that our exchange was starting to bore you, you spoke up again. "Then let me put it this way. Use it only when you must, to protect either yourself… or someone precious to you."

To protect someone precious to me?

…Yeah, I guess I could do that.

-

Notes:

1) HAH! Irony. XD

2) "Mechanics", if anyone cares, is the word Lloyd forgot. XD

3) …More irony.

…And I meant to have this chappy longer, I really did. They were supposed to have gone in and gotten the oracle. But that seemed such a perfect place to end it.


	4. You Do Not Know

Lalala, lookies, an update! Amazing!

Ummm, yeah. :sweatdrop:

Weeeell, I'm a bit too tired to give a little rant here, and I'm sure you guys all prefer it that way anyway.

Disclaimer: Tales of Symphonia and its characters don't belong to me.

Spoiler warning: Yes, this one's a Kratos-chapter and contains spoilers!

Pairing warning: Yaoi, Kratos/Lloyd! Honestly, you'd think people would _read_ the darn warning and follow it. Oya.

Notes about the chapter: Alrighty, since one of my friends told me that she found the notes distracting, I'm going to stick them all at the beginning of the chapter. So first of all, you might notice that Kratos refers to Yggdrasill as both "Lord Yggdrasill" and "Mithos", at different times. Basically, he's referring to either the "Yggdrasill" personality or the "Mithos" personality. And second of all, the romance kinda sorta starts to develop? Except not really? But the story _is_ romance, and I'm a mushy person at heart, so… eh-heh…

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Answers to reviews:

**Metasomatism** – Yes, poor Lloyd. And, yeah, that was too perfect a time to not stop, even though I wanted to make it longer.

**Reka** – Thank you!

**psychobreadfish** – Thankies. And I find Kratos's POVs easier to write, actually. Possibly because I RP Kratos while my friend RPs Lloyd. I'm still moving slow on the romance, because it does need time to develop, but… eh, it's getting there. :grins:

**ShimaGenki** – Heh heh, I'm still very much in my Kratos/Lloyd phase. I've read Angel Sanctuary, and I like the incest there lots too. And no worries, I _am_ ignoring the flamers. They're not worth my time.

**ryder77** – Hee, thankies. I actually don't quite remember what happened in the game, so I'm making it up. Heh, the reviewer probably mentioned incest simply because I said the fic's Kratos/Lloyd.

**Darkened Skyes** – Yup, lots of it was for irony. I luff irony… :heart:

**Xeora** – Yup, he amuses me too. XD

**speshul**** ed** – Maybe Kratos knows, maybe not. He probably _does_ know; he's very smart, after all. But I don't think he knows that he knows yet. :gets confuzzled:

**venus**** tenshi** – Yesh, I'm updating. :bounce: Whee, I'm almost 18! …I feel old. X.x

**Ma-chan DaL** – Thank you! And I'll update as fast as I can, really. Your English seems fine. Want to help me with French homework? XD

**Link-luvr** – Hee, thank you. But, no, you shouldn't be reading the spoiler chapters. I'm sorry! And yesh, lots of Kratos-luff!

**Lord Ma-koto Chaoying** – Thank you! And I agree, love is love, whatever the gender, relations, or whatnots. :smiles:

**KyokixKurama** – Yay! I look forward to it.

**Ruaki** – Thank you! I'll try my best not to disappoint.

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Chapter Four – You Do Not Know

The Chosen's journey was going well. There were no real difficulties through the Seal of Fire safe for a single Fake. I am somewhat thankful that you and your young friend came along; if not for the young mage, we may have had trouble. I doubt that, with my current range of elemental magic, I could have taken it on. At least, not without revealing my true identity.

Of course, watching you dash towards another treasure chest, forgetting already our encounter with the Fake only moments before, I reminded myself that it was your carelessness that triggered the Fake in the first place. Had you not come along, I could have correctly steered the Chosen away from this threat. Or, sparing that, as Lord Yggdrasill _did_ order me to expose the Chosen to danger, it would at least have given me time to prepare.

However, there was no point in dwelling on what could not be changed. I tried to convince myself that it was all for the better. Had you and your friend not found us, you would, first of all, likely still be in the Renegades' grasp. Even supposing you managed to escape, you would have chased us to this Seal, where you would undoubtedly have been delighted that _one_ treasure chest, at least, was left unopened for you, and would have brought this monster on yourself. While you had the mage with you, it was clear that neither of you knew the Fake could only be hurt by magic.

…Yes, it was better that you were with us.

Was it, really? Was it better for this group to be betrayed later, than to die now? Was it better for me to know that my son, found after so many years, could die at any moment, than to hold on, for a little longer, to the belief that he was safe? Perhaps, instead of trying to gain your trust, I should keep my distance, lest a fatal attraction occur.

The thought surprised me. Attraction? To whom, and from whom? The Chosen was nothing but a kind and unfortunate tool of Cruxis, a snowy lamb to be sacrificed. The half-elven siblings would certainly be well-received by Mithos, but did not hold any particular interest for me. You, it was you who captured my attention, you who incited that protectiveness in me, the same that you had done so many years ago. But you are no longer my son; now, you are that man's. I had no hand in your upbringing. You are your own person. But one thought lingered in my mind, unrelated, irrational, and refusing to be silent.

_You do not know that I am your father._

I looked up, just in time to catch your soft brown eyes on mine. For a moment, you looked panicked, before quickly averting your gaze and pretending that it had not happened. Your blush said otherwise, but I did not wish to press the matters.

Fatal attraction indeed. Fatal, fatal, fatal.

_You do not know that I am your father._

Did _I_ know? Did every part of me understand that, understand the implications? Perhaps not. _Should_ I?

I was infinitely glad when the Chosen stood up and dusted herself off, asking if we would like to move on, now, to the final room of the Seal. That was for the best. I had informed Remiel when we first arrived at the ruins; he must be getting irritated with the waiting now, now that we stopped to rest before facing the last guardian. I wondered, sometimes, if it would have been better for Lord Yggdrasill to have sent someone more trustworthy, but then, what choices were there? Yuan was not even around most of the time, and I… I could not bear to be a father again, even in pretense.

The group was ready, ready to meet Remiel with his deftly-spun lie. Did you believe them? I could see the faith in your eyes, an almost fanatical glint. Our puppet angel had everyone fooled except for _her_, but she would not betray her duty. A true, worthy Chosen, willing, even, to dance to our masquerade, for a world that viewed her as nothing but a tool. Would you have gone along with it, if you were to be in her place? Would you have believed that _I_ was your father?

The truth is harder to accept than fiction sometimes, is it not?

_You do not know that I am your father._

"Kratos?" The Chosen's voice broke my thoughts. "Are you coming?"

"Of course." I stood; it was time to face the guardian. As we headed into the portal that would take us there, I kept my gaze steady on you. Do not be so careless again, Lloyd. Your professor is a fair healer, but blood on crimson fabric is difficult to spot for the untrained eye. Do not die, now that I have finally found you again. I clench my teeth at the painful irony. _Do not die, though I may have to kill you later, with my own hands._ Could I do it? For Lord Yggdrasill's – no, _Mithos's_ – vision?  
You turned and gave me your trademark confident grin before you disappeared into the portal, as if you heard the doubt left unspoken in my heart. Following you, I could only hope that such confidence holds.

As I had expected, you suffered a number of injuries in the battle against Ktugach. Of course, you would not admit any of them to me, even as I saw you rub apple gel on a burn. Stubborn and proud, just like your mother.

"First Aid!" I murmured as the Chosen stepped up to the altar to pray. The look of surprise on your face, as your wounds began to close!

"Ah… thanks!" you whispered and grinned, before catching your mistake. "Um, not that I was hurt or anything, I mean."

"Of course." I allowed myself a small smile in my mind. Even when you were young, there was no arguing with you.

You gave a small pout at my humouring tone, but quickly averted your attention as Remiel appeared. I hung back, as there was no point in listening to a speech I had heard hundreds of times. It was, however, a point of trivial interest to see the colour and shape of the Chosen's wings. Mithos had said that this was one of the most similar vessels to Martel. At least I could already judge that her personality was.

"Colette's an angel!"

The excited cry brought me out of my thoughts to check. Indeed, her wings, the manifestation of her mana, had appeared in the form that Mithos had predicted, different from ours. She was everything he had expected. No wonder he was so desperately to keep _this_ Chosen alive until the end, unlike the others, to whom he paid barely any attention.

After Remiel left, I started to head back out. It would not be long before the Chosen collapsed from the mana depletion and metamorphosis by the Cruxis Crystal. "It is time to leave this place. I am sure the Chosen is eager to meet with her father at the next Seal."

"Y-yeah!" The Chosen gave a brilliant smile; none of you realized how forced it was. None of you noticed the pain she was in.

You would hate me for this later, hate me for hurting your friend. Hate me for betraying your mother's ideals, those that she carried to her grave. They were beautiful, the plans for the world that Martel once envisioned and Mithos now corrupted, but they did not have the undying force to survive. They _could _not survive when you were dead. As you may well be, again, when we reach the Tower of Salvation.

The world's salvation. _Mithos's_ salvation, and my own… destruction.

As we left the Seal, the Chosen could no longer hold in her pain, and collapsed, though she made a valiant effort to keep it all in. A twinge of regret ran through me as you rushed to help her. Regret, jealousy, and something far deeper.

No one was there to hold me as _I _crumbled to the ground, those millennia ago.. No one was there to explain, or even to try.

No, no. I was too old for this, too patient, too wise for these thoughts. Too wise for other thoughts as well. I should know better.

_You do not know that I am your father._

Of course not! I never told you, never _intend_ to tell you. Ignorance is bliss, did they not say?

How much pain could it spare?

But, oh! How much harm could it cause?

_You do not know that—_

_Shut up._ I did not notice this rare anger until now, anger at myself, but for what? For knowledge I could never change? _You do not know, and I wish I could be the same._


End file.
